It's a miracle you're still alive!

Life sucked! If you were born anywhere prior to the 90s then it's a miracle you're still alive. Your baby seat (if you were lucky enough to have one) faced the wrong way, nobody made you buckle up on the back seat, they used adult 'death-trap' safety belts on the front seat, nobody thought there was anything wrong with additives.  Not only did they let you play with mercury thermometers, but they even stuck some in your mouth for good measure. Your immunization sheet consists of about 3 vaccines (that's all they had), you were liberally smothered in talc powder (now considered lethal inhalations), you were probably dosed with whiskey as teething gel and sucked on a dummy coated in lead.  There was nothing subliminal about ads for smoking, alcohol and violence and you were a nicotine addict before the age of 3. Well done for making it!